Unintentional Consequences

I started this blog because I noticed a lot of funny things happen in everyday life. Paying attention to those things makes me laugh so I wanted to share the laughter. I rarely have difficulty finding a story to post each Tuesday and Friday, which shows how much funniness there is in daily life.  Given that I have shared over 50 stories, I decided It was time to look back at all of my fruit and have a little laughfest of my own. Doing so made me realize that not only am I sharing the laughter, but unintentionally, I’m sharing something else.

As my loyal readers know, I am not a shopper. Yes, I know that stereotypically, every woman is a shopper-but not this one.  What I am though, is your huckleberry. I taught the fine art Q-poning; giving the checker-outer one Q-pon at a time so he/she doesn’t shoot ‘em all up and reduce your savings due to some computer glitch. See, in addition to a laugh, I saved you a few pennies that you can use for something else.

One thing that I learned while writing this blog is that language isn’t what it used to be. Sure, I make up my own words and use Urban Dictionary on a regular basis, but I have to because words used to mean one thing and now they mean something else. Sometimes, the new meaning isn’t so nice.  Grundles, spunk, and thong are not what they used to be and when used in the presence of young whipper snappers, you will get the stink eye.  And to those who know Judy, I’m not talking about the brown stink eye.  See, even ‘stink eye’ has multiple meanings so, choose your words carefully and always have Urban Dictionary on speed dial-just in case.

And speaking of ‘speed’, do you remember how to stay healthy on a plane? You get on last. Being a priority should not be your priority when it comes to airplanes. The people rushing to get on the plane first will spend more time next to the talker, cougher, sneezer, and snorter and they’ll probably pay the price by becoming a talker, cougher, sneezer, and snorter.  Airline checker-inners never close the jetway door when passengers are standing right there waiting to get on so, back off and enjoy not being a priority. Oh, and when it is your turn to get on, stay on the ‘you’re not a priority’ side of the boarding lane so you don’t get the stink eye.

Lastly, while reminiscing about attending big weddings back in the day, I shared a neat little tip about saving your seat at the bar.  It’s called the wedding tip and all you do is tip your barstool towards the bar as a way to designate the seat is taken even though you are not sitting in it. The wedding tip can be used in any setting where you want to save your seat, but it is not to be used while you go outside to smoke cigarettes.  As my grandma said, “I’ll knock that thing right out of your mouth.”  Just stay in your seat and keep drinking.  After all, you have Q-pon money to spend.

Sometimes you start to do things for one reason and realize there are unintentional consequences.  In this case, I’ve kept you healthy, helped you save money that you can spend at the bar-because you always have a seat, and kept you from embarrassing yourself when you order grundles during happy hour. What more could you ask for from a free blog intended to make you laugh?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Kristi M. says:

    Smoking, no. That grandma taught us well. Budget drinkin-to-beat-60 while sitting on a saved barstool, yes. No lesson needed there. It’s just fun…and funny, of course.

    Like

    1. Eliza G says:

      Yes, she did! Drinkin-to-beat-60 is certainly a funny saying! She scratched-to-beat-60 but never took the winnings.
      Eliza G.

      Like

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