I am not politically active. I know that ranks right up there with ripping on pet owners who name their dogs “A Rescue”, but it’s the truth. Maybe it’s because I didn’t pay close enough attention to my 9th grade civics teacher or my 12th grade Problems of Democracy teacher who always wore a sweater vest and couldn’t write with the black marker on the overhead transparency because his finger was jammed up his nostril searching for other problems. I can say that I learned most about politics from watching TV. This year, I’m caught up in a little who’s who and it’s all SNL’s fault.
I watch SNL. Well, I watch a recording of SNL on Sunday afternoon; 11:30 at night is just too late for me. The show often begins with a cold opening. That’s lingo for ‘gets right down to the business of teaching me about the current political environment.’ I find it interesting that Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders have time to join the cast on a weekly basis and make people laugh about American politics. Now that I think about it, maybe that really isn’t them. I’m mixed up because Kate McKinnon is the spitting image of Elizabeth Warren and Larry David is a dead ringer for Bernie Sanders. Maybe I should be saying Elizabeth Warren is the spitting image of Kate McKinnon and Bernie Sanders is a dead ringer for Larry David. Better yet, maybe I shouldn’t use ‘dead ringer’ at all.
I’m wondering, if I vote for Kate McKinnon, am I really saying I want Elizabeth Warren to be president? Or, if I vote for Bernie Sanders will Larry David be president? Yeah, that’s what I want, I want Larry David to be president. It’s all becoming crystal clear. I want Larry David to drive his Toyota Prius up to the White House each day, walk into the Oval Office dressed in his contoured sneakers, slacks, a sweater, and a blazer, and ask questions about why things are the way they are. Wait, would that be The Larry David, or the Curb your Enthusiasm Larry David? I’m not sure, who’s who, but it really doesn’t matter because nobody, and I mean nobody, would be able to answer either of them.