The Accidental Chew and Screw

It was a B & B week for me.  No, I didn’t go to a bed and breakfast, but there were couple of incidents that involved boys and a breakfast and I’m still laughing…and hiding.

I did some work-related travel earlier this week. A very chit-chatty colleague and friend traveled with me. We spent a lot of time together at the various group meetings and events.  In one of the large group activities we were seated at a table with two boys.  Well, let me rephrase that so I don’t get myself into unwarranted trouble-two young men. They were young enough to be my children and old enough to be my colleagues. We did the usual small talk and asked questions such as, where do you work and how long have you worked there?  We exchanged a few comments about the event, but for the most part, everyone focused on, or at least pretended to focus on, what the speaker had to say.

When lunch arrived, we all remained seated at the same table and continued to exchange pleasantries.  Seemed benign until something not high schoolerish, but elementary schoolerish, began to happen. One of the young men wrote a note and passed it to the other.  The other read it, they both exchanged glances, and then began to snicker.  I thought it was odd, even for young men, but assumed one had something important to tell the other that couldn’t wait and he didn’t want me and my chit-chatty colleague to hear it.  Apparently, they had a lot of urgent messages to exchange because the elementary schoolerish note passing, glancing, and snickering continued throughout lunch. Who passes handwritten notes these days?  Forget the paper and pencil. Use your fricken cell phone to text each other about the people at your table.  That’s how it’s done these days. Or did they know something I didn’t?

The day started with an early wake up at the hotel and plans to grab breakfast 10 minutes before the start of the first event.  Ms. Chit-Chat and I met up, took the elevator down to the lobby, and looked for breakfast that was part of the work-related event.  When we came upon a buffet breakfast, we saw other event attendees seated in the general area eating their first meal of the day.  We hit the buffet line, took a seat, quickly ate what was on our plates, and rushed down to the conference center.  Upon turning the corner into the meeting area we saw tables filled with muffins and pastries. Immediately, we looked at each other and said, “Oh, shoot, we ate at the wrong breakfast buffet.”  As I sat in the first meeting I realized we had engaged in the chew and screw and we did it for a 6-ounce Greek yogurt and a glass of water.

It’s all coming together for me now. The boys must have seen the, ‘Wanted for Breakfast Chew and Screw,’ poster with our pictures on it in the hotel elevator. They didn’t want any permanent record of their communications about the criminals they happened to be seated with at the big event so they opted to use paper and pencil notes.  Those can be destroyed, but electronic communication is forever and would make it hard to deny they spent the day with us.  So if you stay at a hotel and see a wanted posted in the elevator with two breakfast bandits on it, you know where to find me. I know it was a chew and screw, but in all honesty, it was an accidental chew and screw.

Have a fabulously funny day and remember, always share the laughter!

Eliza G.

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