Let’s Make a Deal

I don’t like staying in hotels. There’s something about resting my head on a pillow used by hundreds, if not thousands, of other people that just seems wrong.  However, a recent work-related trip required me to use the communal pillow for a few days.  I checked-in on my way from the airport using the hotel app and on arrival, had to swing by the front desk, pick up my key, and head to my room. The app also listed everything that was available to me during my stay and it all was just a few clicks away. I went crazy. I ordered extra towels and a big fluffy robe and asked that everything be in my room when I arrived.  But somehow, in my haste to check-in and order my amenities, I overlooked an important entertainment option.

Dressed in my ‘go-to-conference’ costume carrying my pocketbook with everything I could possibly be asked to produce, I was offered Door #1 in exchange for about $250.  I accepted the trade and when I arrived at my room, I found a ‘Do not Disturb’ message hanging on the door knob.  At first I was excited because I thought maybe there was something more behind Door #1 than a bed and two dirty pillows. But I was wrong.  In fact, when a member of the hotel staff approached the room carrying a room service delivery bag, she discovered someone else was already enjoying what was supposed to be my prize behind Door #1. Embarrassed,  she made a quick call, turned to me, and offered me Door #2. Reluctantly, I accepted because I had already traded my money and I certainly couldn’t share pillows with the total stranger behind Door #1.

While still carrying the room service delivery bag, the hostess led me across the hall, up the elevator, and down a corridor to Door #2.  In dramatic fashion she swiped her boss key and threw open the door like we were in the showcase showdown.  Oh, sorry, wrong game show.  Anyway, we both stood there looking down at the suitcase lying open on the floor as the television blared in the darkness.  “Oh, no!,” I thought.  “What kind of game show is this? Where in the hell is Monty Hall? He would not put up with this nonsense.  When someone trades, unless they trade again, they get what’s behind their chosen door!   While there is always the chance of a zonk, I have yet to fully see what’s behind any of my doors.” She quickly closed Door #2 and again, made a phone call. And then she said it. She said, “Would you like to try Door #3?” I began to jump up and down with excitement.  “Yes, yes, yes, let’s see what’s behind Door #3,” I shouted as I eagerly looked on.  I couldn’t wait for the trifecta.

She unlocked the door and with a big smile on her face, just like Monty, announced, “We have a winner!”  I waited to hear the roar of the crowd, but there was nothing-only a bed, two dirty pillows, and a noisy air conditioning fan. As the hostess walked away, she handed me the room service bag and said, “Oh, and here’s your order”.  I hadn’t ordered anything-I just arrived and got caught up in being a contestant on Let’s Make a Deal. There was no time to order anything.  But someone had time-the lady behind Door #1. She ordered dinner-on my credit card and she was sitting in what was supposed to be my room probably wearing my fluffy robe after drying off with my extra towels. All the amenities were in her room on arrival, just like I requested through the app.

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